Mullet Moments

I work in a gym now that is populated by mullets. Mullets are not just bodybuilders, but people who just don't act logically in a gym.

1) Someone asked my what "muscle I was working" while I was trying to release my piriformis with a foam roller.

2) While doing box squats, someone with a NASM certification (not that I have anything against NASM, but this asshat threw it in my face) said that you don't need to go parallel to "maximize the hypertrophy of the quadriceps". This is the same retard that wrapped his knees up like it was Christmas to do half-reps on the leg press. Knee wraps on lockouts, ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I swear the next time I see knee wraps is the squat rack/leg press without getting to parallel, I am going to go Tonya Harding on them. HELLO McFLY: If you can't get to 90 degrees, the knee wrap ain't doing anything.

3) I see the same groups of people doing walking lunges around the gym when:
* They can't get anywhere near the "two 90 degree angles" for a solid lunge (if you can't get to a lunge position - you have absolutely no reason to make an arse out of yourself by doing walking lunges with an exercise ball over your head)
* If you can't do a lunge without having your knee going past your toe, your are destroying your knee
* For some unknown reason, every other trainer makes their clients do walking lunges on their first session. I think the personal training industry has a referral relations with the orthopedic industry to destroy as many knee as possible.
* Lunges are a great exercise, but a far as working large groups of muscles, they don't even come close to the squat, deadlift and good morning. If I do lunges in a workout, it is the the 5th or 6th exercise that I do. If you can't bodyweight squat to parallel w/o your feet coming off the ground, you have absolutely no business doing lunges. All my clients learn to squat first.

4) I continually have people that I meet that consistently think that only cardio equipment (bikes, stair climbers, treadmills, ellipticals) burn bodyfat. NEWSFLASH: All physical activity needs calories expenditure to support it:
* I still don't realize how the the state of FL (where 60F is a cold day) you can have a gym that has 2 squat racks and 60 cardio machines. I see people get in their cars to drive a half mile to the gym to walk on the treadmill at the "speed of stupid" then drive back home.
* There is a guy in the gym that spends 6 hours a day doing cardio and farting around and hitting on all of the girls. I told him the following.
- You don't meet girls in the gym. They don't want you to talk about them in the locker room. At least I have not met one in the 17 years that I have had a gym membership.
- Once you hit on one, they will warn about you to everyone else.
- I know your testosterone is high, you need a cold shower.
- I gave him the following suggests, everyday walk into two business and introduce yourself to someone. This will get your sorry ass out of the gym. You will learn what works for you as far as meeting people. You may actually meet someone that can give you a job so your grandmother doesn't have to schlep you to the gym and back. And last, you are not around so much that people can talk about you.
* My clients pay me for my time. If I have them ride a bike, it is interval cardio. I can usually do 6 minute interval session on the recumbent bike that will get someones heart rate to 150-170 (depending on age).

5) If you see a personal trainer that starts are workout with bicep curls, RUN and don't WALK. Most bicep growth is systemic rather than specific anyway.

6) If you see a personal trainer provide assisted stretching to a client and they ass stick out, do not let them touch you. They are pushing your muscles rather than stretching them.

7) If you are in the gym for over 1.5 hours, you are in there too long (unless they are paying you). If you eat meals there you seriously need to get a life. If you have to pack a bag like you are going on a three day weekend...sigh.

8) Most (not all) guys should not workout with your girlfriend/wife/etc. If you think that this makes you look stronger - videotape yourself as you will most likely see that this makes you look like an ass. Also, the amount of improper technique and spewing of training myths increases exponentially the longer they are in the relationship. (Before I get flamed, I know there are exceptions to this). Most times this just results in lower T-levels.

9) I recently was asked what I did for cardio (this was by a personal trainer, no less) since she noticed that I lost some weight. I said that I was working with my kettlebells and played Dance Dance Revolution. She said "No, I mean cardio machines did you use." I was speechless.

10) I see men that have sub-10% bodyfat that can less then 20 pushups. How the fork is that possible. It is like, I have muscle, but I just carry it around.

11) I see people on Bosu ball this that they are working their core. When I use it and take whatever exercise to the limit, it hurts my feet more than my core. Here are the two ways to work your core:
* Lift something heavy while standing
* Lift something assymmetrically (Turkish Get Up, Renegade Row)
==> it ain't that difficult

12) I recently has a very overweight client say that "I don't have any limitations." I then (as I do with every client) asked he if she got on the floor could she get up, and the answer was no. I just hope she does not go anywhere by herself.

Today's Workout

Chest/Triceps/Shoulder (yes, I am officially a mullet)


Incline Dumbbell Presses: 55, 75, 90 x 1 x 12
Machine Flye: Stack x 1 x 10
Upward/Downward cable crossovers
Decline Press
Shoulder Presses: 35,55,75 x 1 x 15
Close-Grip Bench Press: 135,155,175,195 x 1 x 5
Single Tricep Pulldowns: 3 x 15
Tire Flips: 1 x 20
KB Swings: 48kg x 8 x 12

1 total hour of DDR

The weight keeps coming off...

I now weigh in at 189. Lost 14lbs since NYE with no loss of strenght. Want to be 176 by Sept TSC.

Here is what I have been doing:
* I am a personal trainer now, so I get a lot of extra work in. Often do cardio/core work with clients.
* Dance Dance Revolution (about 1 hour/day)
* My weight training program is a Back/Bi, Legs, Chest/Shoulders, Triceps split. I have been added 10-30 minutes of KB training 3x/week
* A good but not great diet. Focusing on intelligent carb cycle. Energy is better.

To get to 176 I will have to be strict. I notice a 4 pack and my chest is coming out more. Also, my traps are more pronounced and I can take off my jeans without unbuttoning them.

Training Update....

After torching my shoulder in March, I recently began snatching again. It feels pretty good - recently got:
Max VO2:
24kg x 20 x 8 (:15on/:15off)
24kg x 20 x 7 (:15on/:15off)
==> Not near the elite, but getting there. Looking to do the TSC/Elite in Sept.
==> I am able to do overhead squats below parallel with 155lb.

I was able to do close grip benches again with minimal pain (195 x 5). I will not do regular benches anymore. For chest, I am doing a lot more fly (horizontal adduction) movements.

My legs are really coming together. I am leg pressing 10 plates/side pretty easily and box squatting to parallel with 285. My legs are starting to get cut. Need to start deadlifting again. Would like to get 515 at the TSC, but 480 is more realistic.

Before work, I often do 10 minutes of TGUs, or 20 minutes of DDR, or 10 minutes of top of the minutes swings. All are great for people on the go. With the TGU, since my gym does not allow kettlebells in have done:
* TGUs and armbars with the 75lb short barbell
* TGUs and armbars with and 80lb dumbell
* armbar presses up to 60lb (good lat activation teacher)

Personal training business is taking off. Adding more private clients and my schedule as Family Fitness lets me leave by 2:00 PM everyday. I am going to make this business happen.

One of my online clients finished in 5th place in the TSC. Only the winner beat him in all three events. Jamie improved his deadlift by 60lb and is looking for another 40lb improvement for the Sept TSC elite. If you want to know how he did it, without gaining weight or sacrificing performance the other events = it was product of his effort and the design of the training program. I love performance-based training.

I will tell you things that I did NOT do:

* I did not have him deadlift more than 6 times during the 13 week cycle (i.e., no PttP). PttP is not bad, but it is a low volume protocol and we were doing high volume baby.

* I did not have him do a single 5 minute snatch session. What we did do was (*Proprietary Information Alert*)...

* I did not have him max out pullups ever....

==> If you are looking for similar improvements in your TSC scores, contact me. I warn you, I am easy but I am certainly not cheap.


Another trainer where I work was instructing a spin class and she asked me to take up a free spot. I did and finished the class. I would love to quote the "What the Hell Effect" of KBs and say it was a piece of cake, but it was not. I did make it trough (and this was after LEG day) and was even able to bowl a 630 afterwards, but it was not easy. I can this: My training allow me to do your workout, does your training allow you to do mine? I don't think so. Try DL 2+ times bodyweight, flipping tires 3x your bodyweight, etc.

I see a lot of people that feel they have to do everything on a bosu ball (thankfully not Family Fitness). I have two things to say about this:

* If you really want to work your core, lift something heavy. BTW, the black 14lb exercise ball is not heavy.

* Balancing on soft objects works by muting the strength of your muscles. Good for balance, sucks for everything else. Instead, try wobble boards or even asymmetrical exercise like the Renegade Row if you really want to work balance/core without weakening you body.

I recently taught my last two Kettlebell clients how to snatch in about 10 minutes. I did this using building blocks (i.e. teach clients sub-moves and put them together into the full movement). Here were the building blocks:
- Swing (the power source)
- The punch through (i.e. hold the kettlebell bottoms up, the punch through).
- The high pull (as an extension of the swings). I know the SOP is to teach the "high swing" (in fact that is how I learned it, but not how I learned to teach it), but I am going with what works. I am about 8 for 8 so far.

I am setting up two boot camps in the Tampa area. Hopefully, I can get these big enough so that I can make it my primary source of income.

Dance Dance Revoluton update

I have not blogged in a while, but I do have a lot to say. Rather than come up with a huge post with all of the different topics, I will break each post down and limit it to one main topic.

I have been playing about 1 hour of Dance Dance Revolution, and fitness wise DDR ranks right up there with the following influences in my life:
* Westside Barbell/EliteFTS conjugate training method (for powerlifting) - 2000
* Earning Russian Kettlebell Challenge (RKC) certification - 2007
* Earning my ISSA Certified Fitness Trainer (CFT) certification - 2008

Since trying DDR around Thanksgiving of 2008, I have lost about 13 lbs with no loss of strength (and I consider myself pretty strong). I can literally take off my jeans without unbuttoning them now. DDR is so much RIDICULOUSLY better than "cardio" treadmills and exercise bikes for the following reasons:


- You actually move you body while doing it. You move left, right, forwards and backwards. You jump in those same directions. You move rhythmically. You need to not only move, but it also encourages hip rotation. This movement of your whole body means that: 1) you burn more calories, and 2) you are moving like a human being instead of a hamster (if you think that I am being flip, go to the gym and watch the treadmillers actually try to walk - they walk like apes.

- It improves reaction time/reflexes

- This is one of the few things that feels like a sport. I really felt this when I was playing the game at Gameworks and had about 7 people watching me.

- The song does not slow down because you are tired. You are forced to keep up.

- You proficiency is measured quantitatively and objectively. Each step is graded on a scale of (Marvelous, Perfect, Great, Good, Almost, and Boo) and point are accumulated and records for max combos and total points are recorded. Also a letter grade (AA,A,B,C,D,E) are given. DDR has not problem telling you that you suck (unlike the rest of our PC world). Some of my most defining moments in my life have come from someone (parents, soccer coach, boss, friend) telling me that I suck.

- DDR encourages "efficiency of motion". Because the song comes at you, you are rewarded for minimizing wasted motion. Examples are: 1) Trying to keep your feet "under" your shoulders. 2) Trying to keep your feet as low as possible. What is funny about this is that these are the exact two things that I learned as a soccer player about 30 years ago.

- The jumping and frequent change of direction work your calves like nothing else. It works the calves and tibialis anterior in all direction and planes of motion (i.e., no shin splits)

I am now playing on EXPERT level and can keep up with most songs on DDR/Hottest Party. Here are the songs that I got an A on:
* Black or White
* Makes Me Wonder
* Tribulations
* Come Rain Come Shine
* I Ran
* Nite-Runner
* Umbrella
* Don't You Forget About Me
* Escape

I also have 11 songs with a "B" grade and I am on the cusp of getting more As.

Here are some parting final observations/notes:

* I recently included the "Marvelous" rating

* I scaled the arrow speed up to 1.5. I noticed that because there was less arrows on the screen, I danced more "instinctively" and my scores went way up. I mention this because in personal training you should try to initially position the "athlete" (not hamster) so that they instinctively do the exercise correctly. This is how you create that "aha" moment that has closed a lot of my recent sales (both inside and outside Family Fitness)

* I would like to get a glass dance pad. I am not a huge guy (about 5'6"/188), but I am killing that dance pad.

* I recently place the game where I kept my legs together except if there were double arrows. This meant that I needed to hop from arrow to arrow in all different directions. Best calf workout imaginable.

Way too long....

I have putting in a lot of long days at the gym and adding a some private clients as well. Things are looking up -- I am starting to get pretty good at this personal training thing. I do realize that I do need to spend more time marketing my business.

Here is a summary of all that is going on.

1) Personal Training business: I have signed up a number of infrequent clients, but a couple of my longer engagements have just ended. So right now I am about treading water. I have added a couple of clients outside of my gym wrote a couple of personal training programs, so I am expanding my "sphere of influence". I am will also start doing some Kettlebell Training at Flex One Fitness in Trinity, FL. It seems like one of the private gyms that is honest and does not cycle through a bunch of trainers -- I am going to start marketing this hard.

2) Bowling: Banged out 2 700 series, and received my 290 plaque. The average is up to 207 and would like to bowl one PBA regional this year.

more later.....

Lots of stuff going on....

1. The shoulder is still healing. I separated it bowling about 4 weeks ago, and it still hurts. I can do most movements and bowl, but I am still compromised somewhat. I have progressed to doing TGUs and armsbars with a 60lb dumbbell (my gym does not allow me to bring in KBs). My main conditioning has been squats, KB swings and DDR (more on that later :) ). Since I can't snatch, my training has been more mullet like. I actually had the words "leg day" and "superset" come out of my mouth this week.

2. Bowling: I recently has a string about about 10-12 weeks where I broke 600, but did not get anything higher than a 660. And it was not just a lack of carry. I have sets like 140-240-230 and 257-203-171....that is just stupidity. Well, from bad to worse. In my league I went 550/597, then bowled 9 games in city's w/o a game over 200. At least I broke that slump (sort of) on Wednesday. 203(w/a pocket 7-10)-267-186(I started the game 8/ 7- X 61, so I will take it).

3. Personal training business: Still adding gym clients (about 20) but still need some evening kettlebell clients. I am thinking of just setting up a workshop (come one/come in) in my backyard and see what happens). I figured that if I can teach 70+ people how to squat, I can teach some 20-35 year olds how to swing a bell.

4. How gyms work. I guarantee that most gyms at least 80% of the people never come to the gym. Here is how I came to this conclusion. My gym has the personal trainers provide free assessments and workouts to new members. The trainers get a few clients this way, but more importantly the member gets an idea of what to do in the gym rather than have the "one chopstick at a Chinese buffet syndrome." I wish I could put a flow chart in my blog, but I will do my best here.

There are typically three types of people who come to the gym:
* People who are sincerely interested and motivated to getting in shape. This is pretty rare, not quite "6 fingers" rare, but rare enough. This group makes of the majority of the people you see in the gym, but a minority of the gyms billing sheet.
* People who want to get in shape, but are not willing to work for it. These manifest itself into two subgroups:

- People who go to the gym a lot, but talk to a lot of people and do the same routine that you could to with two soups cans, two number 5 cans, and actually going outside and walking down the street. These are typically the "activity vs. productivity" people.

- People who get a gym membership, tell all their friends about their gym, read everything about fitness on the internet, then don't go after two weeks. These are the people that think they know everything. Also, after they get their workout they think they can do it on their own. This lasts for about 1 to 2 weeks and they stop coming. They are like "you mean I am not skinny yet after 4 hours of working out." Give me a break, four hours is not a fitness program. Criminy, you can barely play a round of golf in 4 hours. These are the people that Boris Bachmann (seriously strong dude and a very smart man) calls the "two week gurus".

- The third group is a really pathetic group. If you have a choice, make sure that you stay away from them, they will suck you in. This is the group of poeple that so much don't have their shit together that they can't even take ONE HOUR out of their week to devote to their bodies. What this group of people don't realize is that your success in your fitness endeavors is only dependent on the amount of work you put into your fitness endeavor. Here are some of the things that it does not depend on:
* The excuses you have for not working out (I am tired, I had to clean the house, I am sick, I have sand in my crotch, I don't have time, I am so stressed out.)
* How much research you do on the internet about fitness
* Your sense of gym fashion
* How much you spend on supplements
I have seen people sign up for a gym membership and never go. I have even seen people sign up for personal training, but say they are "too busy" to use their sessions (Give me a break, these people are not exactly saving the whales).

4) Weight loss - even though I have a bum shoulder, my weight is at 190 (which put total weight loss at about 16 lbs). Most of this is just playing Dance Dance Revolution and doing swings. I also do core work with most of my clients, so that helps.

5) BS in the gym:
* I had some fat guy in the gym come up to me and say "you can't eat a bagel, it has carbs." To which I replied, "No, I am going to squat and I need complex carbs to fuel my workout. You don't, however, need carbs to run your mouth."
* While doing box squats I has someone tell me that I am going to hurt myself. I sure that is because they can't get to parallel.
* I had someone ask me they don't start of workout with 10 minutes of cardio. I asked him if his heart was beating -- there is your cardio smart guy.
*

Haven't posted in a while....

I have been really busy and have added a bunch of clients to both my gym and private personal training businesses.

The bad: I separated my shoulder about 2 weeks ago. It felt a little weak doing some light bench presses, but the actual separation occurred while bowling the same night. Oh well, kettlebell work will be limited to swings and light get ups to start. I am still able to bowl, even though I have lost some velocity. Motions that I have problems with: shoulder abduction, flexion, and lateral rotation.

The good: As I said before, I am adding new clients every day. I am getting a lot better at selling myself and I have increased my credibility on the gym floor. Too bad I can't use kettlebells in my gym. Before hurting my shoulder I was able to do TGUs with an 80lb dumbell.

Mullets:
I was doing box squats with 245lb the other day (light weight, but not too light), and a really muscular looking guy said "it hurts me just watching you." The way he said it was like "there is no way I can do that." The some mullet doing one-eighth pullups (that is a pullup going from arms at 90 to arms at about 60) with neoprene wraps on his elbows and Zubaz pants was explaining to me that:
* He had a NASM certification (which is not a bad certification)
* That Franco Columbu used to outlift Arnold
* That you don't have to go to parallel to maximize hypertrophy
* That I was going to injure my back

I retorted with the bodybuilding:
* I really don't care about bodybuilding. The only time you see it on TV is when it is on ESPN Classic and they are making fun of it.
* I am an athlete, and if I trained for hypertrophy at the expense of strength I would get slower.
* Box Squats have help my speed in the past.
* Incomplete range of motion training will lead to more injury that squatting on a box.

The was the same 90's reject that wrapped his kneed to do leg presses with 7 plates.

New Stuff for week ending 02/06

* Gotta get ready for Gasparilla. Resigned to staying home all day.
* Bowled well this week: 194-204-256 - 654
* Work outs were random this week:
- Mon: Chest and Tris
- Tue: Back and Bis
- Wed: Legs/Bowling
- Thu: Shoulders
- Fri: Chest and Tris
==> I know, my mullet is growing. In my gym I also did a bunch of random KB stuff.

KB presses with both a 24kg and 6kg bell in my hand (felt good)
TGUs with both a 24kg and 16kg in each hand (because you have to move more deliberately , more time under tension)
Armbar with 24kg and 16kg in each hand
Floor presses (10) with the 24kg and 16kg in each hand

Weight is down to 195 -- woo hoo

Added 8 new clients this week....